Progress and Perception

I have been thinking all week about my appointment with Dr.V.В  When I filled out the 4 page symptom sheet beforehand, I was surprised at all the places that I checked "worse" for how I was feeling.В The summer had been aВ bad dreamВ that I did not come out of until mid August when I started regaining energy.В  There were times I was afraid I was dying and a couple of days where I was more than ready for Heaven.В  В You understand, IВ know.В  ButВ I can tell you the exact day I started to improveВ ~ August 13th.В  Still the pain,В sweats, etc.were at a high level, soВ maybe all the timesВ I was worrying about the bugs increasing while off herbs were for good reason!В  Maybe the homeopathic remedy was actually harming me!~В  After all the symptoms chart told me so.....

Imagine my surprise when Dr.V's exam revealed major progress in some areas~ reflexes, heart beat, Bartonella rash, and muscle strength.В  Such a big leap she nearly leaped in the air with excitement herself.В  Going from a level of progress of 10% a year to 25% in 3 months?В  Amazing!В  Was my perception that off base?В  Maybe progress is not always visible to the untrained eye.

IВ have been spending this week digesting perceptions.В  I believe sometimes we have the perception we are better than we really are.В  Adrenaline surges can cause us to push ahead only to end up in a long relapse.В  It is a false sense of energy.В  We may think we can do more than we can...our brains are so willing but our bodies are not able to sustain the level of activity we desire.В  Our daughter N.says her dad and I crash after every visit...but think we won't!В  And I cannot speak for others, but this time around my perception was that I was worse, going downhill with the bugs taking over again.В  I was wrong.В  I guess that is why we have doctors.В  Still, В I find myself very cautious about doing anything more than I am because I don't want to crash again.....I think that is okay for now.I am taking it slow and steady.В  It is a marathon, not a sprint.

Spending time "visiting" our blogger friends, I have noticed that several are in long crashes and even though they are resting and pacing, it does not appear that it is helping in any way.В  Don't give up hope, friends.В  In the dark days, when your body aches, the fatigue isВ suffocating,В В and your mind is foggy, just remember that your body is trying very hard to make things right.В  It takes energy to do so.В  It takes time....and just around the corner might be the help you need...the change you have been praying for....the progress you desire....

SendingВ hugs to all of you where you rest this day~

Turning the Corner